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Sunday, March 15, 2009
Blogging, is the only thing i can do. I cant bottle things, i'll die inside. i dont know what exactly went wrong, You left me with such sweet memories, and a broken heart. how am i suppose to mend it. Before all these, we're okay. I didnt know it will turn out like this, :/ I've never felt so upset before, Everywhere i go, Everyone i see, Everything i do, Reminds me of you, the times we spent, and what we used to be. Its just like a broken melody, played with a broken guitar, with a broken string. Can you hear my broken heart screaming. I remember, you said if i dont change, you will lecture me everyday. You said your love for me will always remain. You hope that i can change for the better, and allow my parents to know you are in this world. I wanted to let them know, I've found the best boyfriend in the whole wide world, But i cant seem to do it already :/ Remember i said i want to do something for you? Its like only 1/4 done, and i cant complete it already. I wanted to do a small photo album, or rather diary. Recording all our outing, our photos taken. On 130209; Its 246days since we last broke up. I asked you for patch, and bought chocolates for you. Back then at shop, we're all filled with laughters, and smiles. 140209; Its valentines day. You brought me to singapore flyer. Thats the very first time, i went and its with you. We went pool, and that night you walked me home. 150209-210209; We had school, so after school, its just meeting you. and sometimes played basketball. I just love to sit at the court, and watch you play basketball. 220209; we went vivo with jueyu to buy her school shoes. we went to void deck and studied, 230209-260209; We had school, and nothing much, just meeting you or basketball. 270209; we decided to take back our date, and continue counting the months, including the period we're seperated. Its our 14th months together. We had school, but i went home to change first before meeting you. This is the first time, you cooked for me. It really touched me, really. You even scalded your hand, and had an air bubble on your finger. ): 280209; you said we'll go pizza hut one day. we went that day, with yolanda and reynold. It was raining heavily, we went to play pool that day, then we bused home. Thats the very first time, you see me in dress. 020309; thats the day i went bras basah with jueyu, to buy the pens and that book to do that diary for you. Met you later, and we lunched. 030309; went queensway with jueyu and weekeat. met you afterwards. 040309; thats the day we had our first quarrel :/ I'm sorry for those attitudes, I really didnt notice. 050309; Thank god everything's quite fine. Was really damn sorry, and couldnt control tears in school that day. 060309; you had to work after school, i met you for a short while, and went off already. 070309; you had to work again, so i went to play pool with yolanda and co. 080309; Caught Marley and Me at great world. Everything still seems fine, yet i didnt know it could turn out to be such tragedy. 090309-110309; you had to stay in school till 9+ at night. didnt meet you at all. 120309; i didnt went to school, and met you after your school. I went pool after that, and went back purmei. you walked me to the next bus stop, and i sensed something was wrong. This is when, everything starts to happen. 130309; I couldnt stop my tears, i just kept crying, and crying and crying. One month ago, back at shop. we're like filled with smiles on our faces, i didnt expect things to worsen like that. I was aware at times that you looked tired, but you always say no or abit. i thought it would be alright. If i know you feel so tired, I really dont mind with not meeting you. I should have been more understanding towards you. I'm sorry for asking so much of you, I'm sorry for being selfish and neglected your feelings. Must we really end like this? Can we mend this together, can we overcome this obstacle together? Can i get your forgiveness, I promise i will not be a burden, giving you stress again. I promise to be a good good girl, taking good care of myself, studying real hard and show you good results, changing to be a good daughter and show my parents i can do it, and let them know the presence of you. Sigh, is everything too late? I really dont want to lose my last chance like that. I'm feeling extremely miserable inside, I want to scream my lungs out. Can i remove my heart so i wouldnt feel so pain? :/ I just dont want things to turn out like that. Can we talk things out? ------ It hurts so bad, i can't take it any longer. sorry if i made you feel left out, Argh, cant we save it any more? ): sigh, afterall. you're still the one. Sigh, maybe its really stressing you. maybe i've over loved you. Thanks for all the memories you've given me. Thanks for letting me be yours once, and let me know what's love. Thanks for all the pampers, care and concern. Though i'm really upset, like what patrick says, If you've done your best, no point regretting. I still have to get on with life. I hope you'll study hard, get into a poly and your desire course. I wish you all the best in everything. I hope you'll get a better girlfriend than me. I did my best to love you, I've tried my best to save this relationship le. I just hope you'll be happy everyday. I just hope, you'll find your group of friends soon and stop complaining lonely. Once again, Thanks and Sorry. I just hope you wont forget me, I hope i'm still a friend of yours. Dont avoid me or anything. You can always look for me, regardless of anything, any problem. 我真的爱了， 可我从来没有后悔爱上你. 谢谢你给我一个美好的回忆. 如果我们有缘的话，以后再见. I'll still carry on with life happily. i want you to be happy too. I wouldnt want to think so much, Maybe, in future, i might be yours again. Take good care of yourself please. I dont want to see you like that. No matter what, stay strong, and be happy. This is the last time, i'm saying, iloveyou. After today, i wouldnt tear. no, not anymore. Stay happy always, Just know, i'm always here for you, rain or shine. Takecare, |
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